Sweet Relief

Several weeks ago, my Mom and I were talking about pregnancy stuff, and after a long pause, my Mom made a remark, wondering if it was possible that maybe I wasn't actually pregnant, but I was experiencing hormonal fluctuations from my miscarriage. I was around 7 weeks in at the time, and my first instinct was to be offended.

But my Mom was only curious. How was it possible for someone to get pregnant right after a miscarriage? Where had the egg come from? I hadn't ovulated, so it couldn't happen, right? Well, I knew from my many blog-searches that it was indeed possible, but I couldn't offer her a solid reason how.

Since then, the idea that I might not actually be pregnant has haunted me. I researched HOW it was possible, but I only found claim after claim that it HAS. I have all the symptoms, I got 2 positive results around week 4 or 5, and my boobs didnt get bigger on their own .... but still. I fretted. I kept meaning to get another pregnancy test to ease my mind, but I never remembered to.

When Kevin's Mom bought me my first maternity clothes, I almost felt like a fraud. I mean, I'm not showing at all. But what if I wasn't even pregnant? I knew my Mom was only trying to help, but her question was always in the back of my mind.

Today I was supposed to have my first OBGYN to, and I quote, "confirm the pregnancy". Nervous, much? What if it came back negative? Not only would I NOT be pregnant, I would have to look into why I had all these insane symptoms! Well, after A Series of Unfortunate Events, including my insurance carrier not even showing I exist in their system, and getting totally bunk directions from the nurse, I ended up have to reschedule for Wednesday. I was disappointed of course, but my Mom would be really upset, because this would be her "proof", and I could ask the nurse how my pregnancy is possible.

Not to let the morning be a total waste, I stopped and got a fancy digital read pregnancy test. Directions: Pee on Stick. Wait 3 minutes. The result would read either "Pregnant" or "Not Pregnant." Simple enough. I pee every 20 minutes as it is. So I do my thing, and not even 30 seconds later, the reader popped up "Pregnant." Even though I knew I had to be, seeing that confirmation was a huge relief. I immediately snapped a photo and sent it to my Mom. It may not have a doctors signature on it, but at least now I can be nauseous in peace.